Non-Christian Weddings? What do you think?
As a Christian pastor I will, of course, gladly perform a wedding ceremony for a Christian couple. I will, under no consideration, perform a wedding for an unequally yoked couple (1 Christian and 1 non-Christian). But, until this last week, I’ve never been faced with the prospect of performing a wedding for a non-Christian couple and I’d love to hear your thoughts as I think this one through.
This last week I’ve received two requests to perform a wedding for non-Christians. The first comes from a nearby prison inmate. He’s heard of me through his brother (who’s in my church) and he’d like me to perform a wedding for him and his girlfriend during prison visiting hours sometime in 2007 (he’s scheduled for release sometime in 2008). The second request comes from my non-Christian cousin and his non-Christian fiance.
I’ve never been faced with such requests before and so I’m thinking through the theology of all this for the first time. On the one hand, I want to say “no” to both requests because I believe that marriage is designed to have Christ at the center of it. Marriage is, as the apostle Paul makes clear, a reflection of the union we have with Christ. Without Christ, a marriage may (in the best of circumstances) be pleasant and manageable, but it won’t be deeply healthy and it won’t honor Christ. So, on this line of thinking I’m inclined to say “no,” not wanting to be responsible for joining a couple into a marital union that doesn’t honor Christ and that has a lesser chance of survival.
On the other hand, these two couples will get married no matter what–whether I’m the one who performs the ceremony or not. Plus, the gospel calls me to love my non-Christian neighbors and to find points of common grace where I can affirm my neighbors’ hopes and aspirations, showing them that these hopes will find their true resolution only in Christ. Along this line of thinking, there’s a case to be made that I could perform a non-Christian wedding in such a manner that’s faithful to the gospel and loving to the non-Christian couple. To do so I would need to make it clear and compelling to these couples that their marriages can become truly great and healthy only through grasping the unbreakable marriage we have with Christ–the ultimate groom who suffered in order to cleanse filthy sinners, clothe us in spotless white robes, and bring us into eternal union (marriage) with him. This line of thinking makes me want to say “yes” to the wedding requests.
Perhaps I could have a significant ministry to these couples (through some pre-marital counseling sessions and through the ceremony itself) and to the family, friends, and prison guards in attendance at the ceremony?
What do you think? Please take a moment to share your comments and thoughts. I’d really like to hear what all of you think about this.
10 Most Redeeming Films of 2006
I was pleased to learn that Children of Men made it on Christianity Today’s list of The 10 Most Redeeming Films of 2006.
Children of Men
Children of Men is the most powerful new film I’ve seen in years. It’s based on the book (of the same title) by British novelist P.D. James. James, a Christian, says this of her book:
"When I began The Children of Men, I didn’t set out to write a Christian book. I set out to deal with the idea I had. What would happen to society with the end of the human race? At the end of it, I realized I had written a Christian fable. It was quite a traumatic book to write."
Let me add to that: the film was, likewise, quite a traumatic film to watch.
I mean it. I’ve never experienced more stress while watching a film then while watching this story unfold. Halfway through the film I realized this. I thought, "hey, I’m stressed out here, I’m tense and even a tad bit sweaty, what’s going on?" What was going on was that I was engrossed in this traumatic, stressful, and richly redemptive storyline.
See, all the depravity, trauma, violence, and stress that color the film serve, ultimately, to highlight themes of redemption, hope, salvation, substitution, and incarnation. And all these themes are concentrated into one character–a baby. Indeed, the world’s only hope for redemption rests with this little baby. In one of the most moving cinematic scenes I’ve ever seen (I don’t think this is giving away too much), all the chaos and violence of man comes to an abrupt, momentary standstill when it encounters this special child. Moving, moving, moving.
Don’t tell anybody, but by the end of the movie I was in tears. I was in tears because this story caused me to think afresh about my Savior. By the time the credits were rolling all I could do was think about what a great Savior we have. I wasn’t so much thinking about Jesus as I was feeling thankful for Jesus, feeling immensely thankful. I guess this is why I regard Children of Men as one of the most powerful films I’ve ever seen. I hope many of you choose to see it.
(PS. be warned/prepared: the R rating is deserved)
(Double PS. this film also offers an excellent pro-life argument)
Saturday Shot
For this Saturday, here’s a few throwback photos–photos from wedding 3 & 1/2 years ago:
Tuesday List: Gospel Ammo Verses
For this week’s Tuesday List I want to list some gospel ammo verses/passages that have been of help to me, believing that they will be of help to you as well. I’ve blogged here before, via diagram and via acronym, about the importance of preaching the gospel to yourself on a regular basis. As Martyn Lloyd Jones famously said a generation ago, Christians need to be a people who talk to themselves rather than listen to themselves.
Over the last few years I’ve found that I need to re-tell the gospel to myself every single day. If I don’t do this, I get caught listening to myself, listening to the false and prideful default message of the human heart: the gospel-less notion that I must perform well in order to earn God’s favor. The gospel, however, is a completely different message. It’s good news. It’s the news that Jesus Christ has performed well in my place, living the life I should’ve lived and dying the death I should’ve died, bringing me into a relationship of favor with the Father.
I’ve found that I must have a cache of gospel ammo verses readily at hand if I’m to talk to myself rather than listen to myself. Here’s a short list of the main ammo I use week in and week out for re-telling/preaching the gospel to myself:
1. 2 Corinthians 5:14-21. This passage, chiefly verse 21, is always my first resort for re-grasping the gospel. What a great exchange Christ won for us on the cross!
2. Luke 15. It seems that nearly every week I must re-present these three parables, cheifly the parable of the Running Father, to myself. No chapter of the Bible has influenced me more than Luke 15. What a Father we have!
3. Isaiah 52 & 53. I’ll be going back to this passage for the rest of my life. The good news, that someone else suffered for my sin, is outrageous. What a Savior we have!
4. Romans 3:21-26. The “but” that begins verse 21 is perhaps the most significant “but” in all of Scripture. What news–God put forward his righteous Son as a propitiation for our sins!
5. Romans 5. This is a chapter to be mastered. I don’t think you can enjoy God or love your neighbor unless you soak in this chapter. Romans 5:8 changes everything. What a great 2nd Adam we have in Christ!
6. Philippians 2:5-11. I get to preach this incredible text not just to myself, but to my congregation, very soon. The humility of Christ brings me to my knees. The exaltation of Christ makes me look up. The incarnation and exaltation of Jesus was a joint project undertaken for our redemption. What a Lord we have!
7. Ephesians 1:3-14. Here’s Paul’s longest sentence in Scripture, as well as one of his most theologically rich. Predestination shouldn’t scare or confuse you. Predestination is, simply, gospel–you’ve being given grace and mercy that you didn’t deserve or earn. What a gracious God we have!
8. Ephesians 2:1-10. In seminary I wrote a 25 page paper on the Greek text of this passage. Ever since, I’ve not been able to get this slice of Scripture out of my head. It’s plain and simple–there is only one thing that we have legitimate grounds to boast about: the person and work of Christ. What a liftetime of boasting we have to enjoy!
These are the 8 main passages I re-tell myself on a regular basis. There are other gospel ammo verses I utilize. These are just the main ones. I hope this is of help to you.
Philippians 1:12-18
Last night at twenties group we studied Philippians 1:12-18. This is an outrageous passage. It’s a comforting passage. It’s a challenging passage. As Paul reflects upon all that has "happened" to him (betrayal, arrest, beatings, death threats, imprisonment, shipwreck, etc.), he concludes:
1) that these events have "really served to advance the gospel" (v. 12) and
2) that God has overseen, ordered, and orchestrated it all–stating, "I am put here" (v. 16) from his Roman prison cell.
As we discussed these things we were encouraged by the truth that, just as with Paul, God is writing the story of our lives here on the San Francisco Peninsula, putting us where he wants us and advancing his gospel every step of the way. Just as with Paul, the "prisons" of our lives often turn out to be our most effective pulpits.
John Donne: Holy Sonnet XIV
One of my favorite poems is John Donne’s Holy Sonnet XIV:
Batter my heart, three-person’d God ; for you
As yet but knock ; breathe, shine, and seek to mend ;
That I may rise, and stand, o’erthrow me, and bend
Your force, to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp’d town, to another due,
Labour to admit you, but O, to no end.
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betroth’d unto your enemy ;
Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.
The Courage to Teach
Six months ago, over hamburgers and fries at Red Robin, Dr. Willem VanGemeren suggested that I read Parker Palmer’s The Courage to Teach: Exploring the Inner Landscape of a Teacher’s Life. I’m glad I heeded the suggestion. If you’re a teacher, preacher, or educator, you’ll find some gold in this book. The nuggets begin to show up on page 1 as Palmer introduces the book’s intended audience:
“If you are a teacher who never has bad days, or who has them but does not care, this book is not for you. This book is for teachers who have good days and bad, and whose bad days bring the suffering that comes only from something one loves. It is for teachers who refuse to harden their hearts because they love learners, learning, and the teaching life.”
Here’s a whole handful of quotes from the book that have been impacting my approach to teaching:
“No matter how we devote ourselves to reading and research, teaching
requires a command of content that always eludes our grasp.”“we teach who we are.”
“knowing myself is as crucial to good teaching as knowing my students and my subject.”
“Technique is what teachers use until the real teacher arrives, and this book is about helping that teacher show up.”
“We learn experimentally that we thrive on some connections and
wither with others, that we enhance our integrity by choosing
relationships that give us life and violate it by assenting to those
that do not.”“If a work is mine to do, it will make me glad over the long haul,
despite the difficult days.” [commenting on Buechner's famous
definition of vocation: "the place where your deep gladness and the
world's deep hunger meet."]“Unlike many professions, teaching is always done at the dangerous intersection of personal and public life.”
“In a culture that rips paradoxes apart, many people know nothing of
the rich dialectic of solitude and community; they know only a daily
whiplash between loneliness and the crowd.”“the classroom [and the church!!!] should be neither teacher-centered nor student-centered but subject-centered…this is a classroom in which teacher and students alike are focused on a great thing.”
Andy Stanley, Communicating for a Change
If Andy Stanley’s Communicating for a Change were the only book you ever read about preaching, you’d be left with a pretty shallow and superficial approach to preaching. This is certainly not a book that delivers a robust theology of preaching, that promotes a lofty portrait of the doctrine of revelation, or that cause ones heart to pump faster over the glorious task of proclaiming the gospel to a hungry world.
However, that being said, in this brisk read Stanley offers some thoughtful, helpful material on the methodology of preaching. The best component of the book is that everything Stanley says is directed towards persuading the reader to approach the preaching task as though each sermon is to be about one thing/idea only.
Years ago when I was just starting out as a preacher, my former pastor offered me some of the best counsel I’ve ever received about preaching. He told me to "say it in a sentence." He told me that I wasn’t ready to preach until I could sum up my message in a single sentence. In this book, Stanley does a great job at arguing and illustrating the importance of "saying it in a sentence."
There are a number of other important suggestions and points that Stanley makes in the book, chief among them the imperative of making change, the changing of the people in the pew, the central goal of preaching. I also enjoyed the 80 page preacher’s transformation parable (written by Lane Jones) that comprised the first half of the book. Stanley’s suggestion that preachers prepare their sermons 3 weeks in advance was also a wise (though next to impossible for many pastors) idea.
In many ways this book isn’t just for the preacher. It’s advise, argumentation, and counsel is well suited for any public communicator (teachers, business presenters, public speakers, etc.). If you’re someone who speaks publicly on a regular basis and who has trouble clearly organizing your thoughts and engaging your audience, you’ll probably benefit from reading this book.
Abortion
Justin Taylor posts a bone-chilling video clip that shows the horror we’ve legalized in America. I started to cry before I could even press play on the image.
