The Impact of a Pastor’s Wife
Mark Driscoll interviews R.C. Sproul, asking R.C. how his wife Vesta has impacted him.
Best Marriage Resource
This winter, during a drive to and from Tahoe, my wife and I listened to the best material on marriage that we’ve ever heard/read. I’ve been meaning to link to this for some time. Married people, it’s worth your while to purchase Tim & Kathy Keller’s Cultivating a Healthy Marriage lecture and Q&A.
Forming Family Traditions: Sunrise Easter Service
Now that we’re a young family of four, Taylor and I have been thinking a lot about family traditions. It’s been fun to discuss the question: What traditions do we want to have shape and set rhythm for our growing family?
This Easter, at Taylor’s initiative, we took our first stab at doing what we hope will become an annual family tradition: a sunrise Easter service. For those of you who don’t have this tradition going and might be interested in getting it going, here’s what we did:
-Chose a hilltop down the street from our home where we knew we’d catch a good sunrise
-Invited neighbors to join us
-Woke the boys up at 5:50am, met up with friends, and hiked about a mile to the hilltop with breakfast in tow
-Gathered together and, as the sun began to rise, we read the resurrection story and then prayed and sang a song together
-Ate breakfast and drank coffee
-Let the kids enjoy an Easter egg hunt
-Took some photos
-Raced off to CPC to prep for our morning services while wife, kids, and other lingered
I think this tradition will be a keeper.
Taylor has been enjoying reading Kent and Barbara Hughes’ book, Disciplines of a Godly Family, as it’s been stimulating her thinking on traditions. You might want to check it out.
6-Step Dating Method for Christian Men
I recently received an email from a young guy in our church and in our twenties ministry requesting my help in developing more ways for the singles in our ministry to get to know each other and potentially develop dating relationships.
In replying to the email, I first reminded my friend how most single twentysomething Christian men would be envious of his position: being part of a church that God has kindly “stocked” (ladies, don’t take offense, I use the term in good jest and in line with the metaphor you will see below) with a huge number of godly, beautiful, single and available women in their twenties. Second, I explained why I will not start a program to facilitate Christian dating. Third, I shared a simplified 6-step approach for getting more young men to the altar. I’ll copy that part of the email below. You may want to share it with single men in your church.
1. Keep it as your first priority to be walking tightly with Jesus, to be growing in manly godliness. This includes have other godly men/friendships in your life.
2. If you’re maturing in Christ, you know yourself pretty well, and you don’t think God has given you the gift of singleness, move on to step 3.
3. Pray daily that God would bring into your life a godly woman who you can have a great marriage with, all the while working on the bait (that’s you) that you’re putting on the dating fishing hook.
4. Meet a lady who is a Christian, who is breathing, who is over the age of 18, and who you feel some level of the hots for, then move on to step 5.
5. Step up and ask the lady out on a date, then see what happens. If things don’t go well (if you get rejected, etc.), re-evaluate steps 1-3, especially examining the quality of the bait, then get working on step 4 again. If things go well (and if those who know you best and who you’re in community with here at the church also think things are going well), move on to step 6.
6. Buy a ring, get married, start making babies, and love your bride like Christ loved the church until death do you part.
Taylor Buzzard: Advice for Fathers
A guest post by Taylor Buzzard:
Greetings, Buzzard Blog readers. Mrs. Buzzard reporting. I am happy to announce that I am back on the blogging band-wagon. Four score and seven moons ago (or, mid-2008), I wrote two blog posts, only to disappear without explanation. Toddlerhood, pregnancy, preparing the home for another child, birth, and adjusting to mothering two sons kept me away from contributing to the blogosphere. But I’m back and I’m sticking around (Justin’s holding me to this: he wouldn’t publish this post until I had my second post written–smart man.).
So, why this sudden change? This past weekend Justin gave me a golden gift. He took our lovable, energetic 2-year-old son to Sacramento to visit his grandparents for the weekend. And, by so doing, he gave me the home to myself for over 48 hours. What rejuvenation I experienced! I took a giant step back from the unceasing demands of daily life, I took deep breaths, and I rested. Who would have thought that two full days alone in my home could make such a difference for this woman, but they did.
And I said that I was alone…that’s kind of funny, I actually wasn’t alone at all. I spent the whole weekend with my sweet 3-month-old son by my side. But, he doesn’t talk, or move, or put himself in dangerous situations, or make much of a mess. I can’t imagine what it would have been like to have had absolutely zero care-taking responsibility throughout the weekend. That just might have put me into shock.
During my personal retreat weekend, I got to thinking about the bigger picture. I began to think beyond what to serve for breakfast, which park to visit, when to go to the grocery store, and how to effectively disciple my toddler. And I realized that Justin prodding me to continue blogging was also God prodding me to continue blogging. It’s good for me, it challenges me, and it gets me out of peanut butter and burping.
In conclusion, the point of this blog post is to tell men that it is a great idea to get the post-infanthood children out of the house for a weekend and leave your wife to enjoy her home in peace and solitude. Going to visit grandparents is a smart way to make this happen, as you can count on extra hands for crowd control. If you are not yet a husband or a father, tuck this tip away for later use. You will really like the refreshed woman to whom you return.
31 Years
Mom and Dad, happy anniversary! Happy 31 years (7/17/77). I love you. Thanks for giving me the gift of two parents committed to each other for 31 years. I praise God for the grace he’s poured out on your marriage.
PS. Dad, I think it’s time to bring back the mustache and sideburns.
Marriage to a Difficult Man
Right now my wife is reading the book, Marriage to a Difficult Man. Hopefully she’s not mistaking this book as autobiography, but rather enjoying this biography of Sarah Edwards’ marriage to Jonathan Edwards.
Sermon on Marriage
During my 4.5 years living in Santa Barbara, I benefited tremendously from sitting under the preaching of Reed Jolley at Santa Barbara Community Church. This past week I enjoyed, and was helped by, listening to a recent message Reed delivered on marriage. Single or married, I encourage you to give this message a listen:Download Marriage.mp3
The First Ever Buzzard Blog Guest Post: Taylor Buzzard
Greetings, Buzzard Blog readers!
I am honored to have been invited by my husband to try out guest-blogging. It’s kind of like guest-starring on a TV show, but much more exciting. How so? My name won’t flash on the screen for a millisecond only to be forgotten. Rather, my article will be front and center for a whole day! Hopefully I can come up with something worthwhile to share so as not to waste your time.
A good way to kick off this venture might be to share a bit about how this guest-blogging gig all came to pass…
Throughout my life, I have been an achiever. I thrive on applying myself and seeing results. These characteristics held true as a student, as an athlete, and as a young newlywed working in youth ministry. I like to work hard and I like to create.
Over the past year and a half, I have experienced the immense joy of being a mother for the first time. I love this role. My first-born son, Cru, is 19 months old, and another son is due to arrive in 4 months. I did not grow up dreaming of marriage and family, and I certainly did not have my childrens’ names picked out by the time I reached high school (like some girls do). To be honest, I was intimidated by the motherhood task before me, and not certain of how I would perform. But, the Lord is faithful! He has channeled his joy through my son and directly into my heart, filling me up with awe of his glory to levels that I never could have imagined. I get so much delight from being a mom—it has become my surprise passion. I love feeding my son. I love bathing my son. I love chasing my son around our condo complex parking lot. I love taking him around town and observing him catch strangers’ eyes and strike up toddler conversation. I love telling him about Jesus. And I am so edified by our decision that I stay home to raise our children.
But, the past few months I have begun to feel a bit antsy. I have struggled with feeling useless, and doubting that I am using my energy and abilities to the extent that God desires. It has taken quite a bit of prayer and conversation to get to the bottom of “why”, but the mystery has been solved: I need an outlet, a way to continue using my gifts as in the days of old, to apply myself and to create on an adult level.
In my husband’s quest to find a solution, he kindly offered that I consider guest-writing for his blog. I’ve always enjoyed writing, and haven’t done it for some time. So, here I am! I’m a bit rusty, but I should get warmed up here in no time. Hopefully you blog readers will enjoy a bit of a feminine touch and perspective from time to time. And, I’d love to hear from mothers out there who have had similar struggles—comment away! Look out for an upcoming post with my reflections on Ted Tripp’s book, Shepherding a Child’s Heart.
~ Taylor Buzzard
How To Give Your Wife A Great Birthday
Husbands, if you’re looking for ideas, here’s one idea for how you can give your wife a great birthday: do what I did last night. Get a babysitter, take your wife to Cypress Inn Bed & Breakfast in Half Moon Bay, and pamper your wife with food, compliments, laughter, touch, walks on the beach, and prayers that express your gratitude to God for your bride.
My wife and I find that even just an 18 hour break (we were only away from 5pm yesterday to 11am today) from responsibilities with our son, our home, and my work is immensely refreshing. If you don’t live in Northern California and can’t make it to Half Moon Bay (we live 20 min. from HMB), you’ll have to settle for whatever inferior getaway spots are near you.
-camera phone pics of the view from our room and a crab we met on the beach
