Three-Son-Mommas
I don’t know how many mothers of three sons read this blog, other than my wife (actually, she hasn’t read my blog much since the arrival of two sons), but here’s something for all you three-son-mommas out there.
My friend Toby Kurth sent me this. He got it from somebody who got it from somebody who apparently spotted this in a book called The Mother’s Almanac.
There must be a special place in heaven for mothers of three sons. You certainly can tell them on earth. They’re those ladies with amused, bemused faces and an amazing tolerance for disaster – for they have learned that shouting doesn’t help.
No other combination of children, not even twins, can create so much chaos or camaraderie. Even the most introspective child will join the team – them against you – and like all good players, they encourage each other to bigger feats of daring.
We recommend the advice of so many successful mothers of three boys. Give them as much outdoor playtime as possible, and indoors, set up two rooms: one for sleeping, with nothing but beds and bureaus, and the other for playing, with much climbing equipment. With three children, one is bound to be quieter than the others and he probably will need a corner somewhere else.
You will be frazzled in the early years but when your boys grow up, we think you’ll find yourself perhaps more treasured than most other mothers.
My 3 Sons
After the ultrasound on Friday I took my family out to breakfast to celebrate the news: Buzzard baby #3 is a boy! Assuming all goes well with this pregnancy, I will have 3 sons to raise. I count it an honor that God has entrusted me with the responsibility of raising 3 boys to be (Lord willing) brave, godly, gospel men. The past two generations of Buzzard men are, it seems, only capable of making boys.
For a time we will have 3 boys under the age of 4! Pray for us.
I follow in the footsteps of some incredible people who’ve also had 3 sons:
-Adam (but I’m hoping my oldest son doesn’t murder my second son)
-Noah (but I’m hoping one of my sons doesn’t walk in on me drunk & naked and end up receiving a curse from me)
-My good friends: Dan Palmer, Toby Kurth, and Jordan Kauflin (All of which I’ve officially challenged to a “Me & My Three Sons” competition. I’m fully confident the Buzzard men will win these competitions. The Kauflins are from the east coast, so they’re kind of soft. The Kurths have to great of an age gap between their 1st and 2nd sons, so they won’t have good team unity. And the Palmers live in Sacramento so they don’t have any good sport teams in the area to set the tone for them, The Sacramento Kings just aren’t very impressive).
Many adventures are ahead!
The Story of Zac Smith
Most of you have probably seen this video already. In case you haven’t, watch it. It’s a moving story.
My wife and I watched this video of Zac and his family this past Sunday, the same day that Zac passed into eternity. Zac’s faith in God is exemplary. Pray for this young family.
The Story of Zac Smith from NewSpring Media on Vimeo.
Leaving Home
Sometimes you read a few paragraphs of a book and those paragraphs become burned into your memory.
John Paton was a 19th century Scottish missionary to the cannibalistic tribes of the New Hebrides islands. Paton’s biographer/brother (buy the book) quotes John Paton telling the story of the bittersweet parting between him and his father when, in his early twenties, he left his native Scotland to begin his missionary career and his father accompanied him for a portion of the 40 mile walk to the train station.
I first read these two paragraphs twelve years ago. I’ve never forgotten them. Though my situation is nothing like Paton’s, these paragraphs have fresh power for me as I prepare to leave family, friends, and a Northern California that’s been my home for 31 years to follow God’s call to an adventurous work in a new state.
My dear father walked with me the first six miles of the way. His counsels and tears and heavenly conversation on that parting journey are fresh in my heart as if it had been but yesterday; and tears are on my cheeks as freely now as then, whenever memory steals me away to the scene. For the last half mile or so we walked on together in almost unbroken silence—my father, as was often his custom, carrying hat in hand, while his long flowing yellow hair (then yellow, but in later years white as snow) streamed like a girl’s down his shoulders. His lips kept moving in silent prayers for me; and his tears fell fast when our eyes met each other in looks for which all speech was vain! We halted on reaching the appointed parting place; he grasped my hand firmly for a minute in silence, and then solemnly and affectionately said: ‘God bless you, my son! Your father’s God prosper you, and keep you from all evil.’
Unable to say more, his lips kept moving in silent prayer; in tears we embraced, and parted. I ran off as fast as I could; and, when about to turn a corner in the road where he would lose sight of me, I looked back and saw him still standing with head uncovered where I had left him—gazing after me. Waving my hat in adieu, I rounded the corner and was out of sight in an instant. But my heart was too full and sore to carry me further, so I darted into the side of the road and wept for a time. Then, rising up cautiously, I climbed the dike to see if he yet stood where I had left him; and just at that moment I caught a glimpse of him climbing the dike and looking out for me! He did not see me, and after he gazed eagerly in my direction for a while he got down, set his face toward home, and began to return—his head still uncovered, and his heart, I felt sure, still rising in prayers for me. I watched through blinding tears, till his form faded from my gaze; and then, hastening on my way, vowed deeply and oft, by the help of God, to live and act so as never to grieve or dishonor such a father and mother as [God] had given me.
Praise God for parents who pray for and release their children to follow God’s call on their lives!
Pastor Your Family
Here are some helpful thoughts on how one man, Justin Hyde, is pastoring his family. I printed out the post to bring home and discuss with my wife.
99 Balloons
99 Balloons from Igniter Media on Vimeo.
Eliot was born with an undeveloped lung, a heart with a hole in it and DNA that placed faulty information into each and every cell of his body. However, that could not stop the living God from proclaiming Himself through this boy who never uttered a word.
In the midst of heartbreaking tragedy, the Mooney family found the presence of God strengthening, comforting, and guiding them. Their story reminds us to seek God and endure our struggles rather than blame Him for our hardships.
HT: JT
Five Dangerous Things You Should Let Your Children Do
Watch Gever Tulley’s 2007 TED Talk: Five Dangerous Things You Should Let Your Children Do.
I’ve haven’t read it yet, but I will soon read Tulley’s new book, Fifty Dangerous Things (You Should Let Your Children Do). Fathers, join me.
Learn more about Tulley’s Tinkering School.
A Conversation at the Park
A guest post from Taylor Buzzard:
I present you with another one of those once-in-a-blue-moon, sporadic posts from me, Justin’s wife!
Today I was at one of the parks in our city. I struck up a conversation with another mother while our young sons played on the slide. She shared with me that she is a school teacher, and that being separated from her son caused her to cry every morning for the first six months of the school year. Now it is summertime, and she is overjoyed to spend every day with her 12 month-old.
She looked at me and said with a bit of longing in her voice, “Do you get to stay home?” I replied, “Yes, I get to stay home with my boys, I’m very grateful. But, well, you know, actually, it’s probably more accurate to say, I choose to stay home. My family lives in a small 2 bedroom condo without a yard. So the trade-off is obvious. But I wouldn’t change my situation for anything.”
I seem to get into this type of conversation semi-regularly. Whether it is someone saying, “We both have to work, there isn’t an option,” or, “I’m so jealous that you get to stay home,” I do my best to gently and humbly correct them. Yes, I am privileged to stay home to raise my children. And, yes, you probably have an option.
In most instances, two full-time incomes are not mandatory. What it primarily comes down to is lifestyle. In America, we are bred to live beyond our means. We are almost brainwashed to believe that children must be raised in a large home, with an expansive yard, with 2 luxury vehicles, with the gamut of extracurricular activities available to them, with a private university tuition covered; and if we don’t provide the aforementioned amenities, we are depriving our children.
But, wait, is it really deprivation not to provide these things to my children? If I re-entered the workforce full-time, we would be better positioned to provide the American-dream upbringing for our children. But, what would the cost be? Everything has a cost, as one of my pastors, Mark Mitchell, recently taught the twentysomethings of our church. The cost to my young children would be spending the majority of their time without either parent in their most formative, impressionable years. I physically carried these children in my womb, and I want to carry them, literally and figuratively, through their childhood years as well.
I am aware that this article taps into a controversial topic, and I understand and respect the fact that in some instances there truly is not an option to be home with your children. But, we must remember that in most cases, it truly is a choice that we are making. And might we make that choice with full understanding of the cost at hand.
3 Paragraphs for New Fathers
For my fellow new-ish fathers out there, these three paragraphs are must reading. They articulate and name the deep transitions that come with becoming a dad. As I near three years of being a dad, these paragraphs nail it for me. From Andrew Peach, via Justin Taylor:
Most fathers-to-be suppose that their old ego-centered lives will continue more or less unabated after the child arrives. With the exception of a few more obstacles and demands on their time, their involvement with their children is envisioned as being something manageable and marginal. Nothing like a complete transformation—an abrupt end to their former life—really enters men’s minds.
But then the onslaught begins, and a man begins to realize that these people, his wife and children, are literally and perhaps even intentionally killing his old self. All around him everything is changing, without any signs of ever reverting back to the way they used to be. Into the indefinite future, nearly every hour of his days threatens to be filled with activities that, as a single-person or even a childless husband, he never would have chosen. Due to the continual interruptions of sleep, he is always mildly fatigued; due to long-term financial concerns, he is cautious in spending, forsaking old consumer habits and personal indulgences; he finds his wife equally exhausted and preoccupied with the children; connections with former friends start to slip away; traveling with his children is like traveling third class in Bulgaria, to quote H.L. Mencken; and the changes go on and on. In short, he discovers, in a terrifying realization, what Dostoevsky proclaimed long ago: “[A]ctive love is a harsh and fearful reality compared with love in dreams.” Fatherhood is just not what he bargained for.
Yet, through the exhaustion, financial stress, screaming, and general chaos, there enters in at times, mysteriously and unexpectedly, deep contentment and gratitude. It is not the pleasure or amusement of high school or college but rather the honor and nobility of sacrifice and commitment, like that felt by a soldier. What happens to his children now happens to him; his life, though awhirl with the trivial concerns of children, is more serious than it ever was before. Everything he does, from bringing home a paycheck to painting a bedroom, has a new end and, hence, a greater significance. The joys and sorrows of his children are now his joys and sorrows; the stakes of his life have risen. And if he is faithful to his calling, he might come to find that, against nearly all prior expectations, he never wants to return to the way things used to be.
Fathers & Replacement Glory
“A man will forget that, as a father, he has been welcomed to the transcendent glory of being part of God’s work of forming human souls. Instead he will buy into the replacement glory of career success. More and more, his life will be eaten up and defined by his work. Less and less will his sense of purpose have to do with the formative community that only he can offer his children. Sadly, his children cease to be one of the joyful focuses of his living and become an obligation in an already-too-busy schedule. Less and less do his children know him, respect him, trust him, or feel his love.”
-Paul David Tripp, A Quest For More: Living for something bigger than you, p. 29
